Teens Talk… about moving
- The biggest thing you worry about is making new friends, being accepted.
- I worried about my stuff getting damaged in the move.
- I wondered it I would be as popular or well liked after we moved.
- I was mad cause I liked where I lived and I had good friends.
- All I wanted to do was cry or scream and slam doors.
- All I could think about was how I would get my new driver’s license.
- I worried about being bored and lonely. I worried about what school would be like.
- I wondered whether they would have lacrosse in the new city or a computer club.
- It was sad leaving my mom. I was moving with my dad out of state. | see her a couple times a year and we talk on the phone a lot but I still miss her.
- I was eager for something new but scared of leaving friends.
- My thought was, would I fit in?
- I wondered if I would be able to find my way around.
HOW WAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS BEFORE AND AFTER THE MOVE? WAS IT NORMAL OR DID IT CHANGE IN ANY WAY?
Parents are grouchier during the moving time. It’s not because they are mad at you. They are just upset about all the confusion and all the things they have to do.
- I tried not to bug my parents. I tried to do as much as I could on my own.
- I told my parents how I felt about everything because they asked me.
- My parents had to buy a smaller house because the houses were so much more expensive. but I like living here.
- Some parents think they are protecting you by not telling you the facts but then you worry more. My parents spent a lot of time talking to us before and after the move about everything. It helped to be able to talk about it.
- My parents give me extra money For watching my brother and sister while we were getting ready to move and after we got into our new house.
- My mom never asked me to help.
- When your house is for sale. your parents are all up tight. They want the house to be perfect all the time. It’s hard. I tried to help sometimes iust so we could get it Over.
- My parents gave me more Freedom after we moved so I could go out and meet new kids. Parents need to be patient and a little more lenient.
- Parents can‘t push too much. They have to give you time to adiust and to find friends.
- My parents did not have a choice about moving. I was easier on them when they explained what their situation was.
- My parents kept reassuring me that it would be all right.
- Parents have a lot on their minds so sometimes you have to remind them of things.
- It’s a good idea to try to help the family get organized ahead of time because it you’re not organized, it’s really chaotic.
- I think our moves brought our family closer together. Lots of times we only had each other.
EVERYONE WORRIES ABOUT MAKING NEW FRIENDS AND BEING ACCEPTED. BE SPECIFIC. BASED UPON YOUR EXPERIENCES, HOW DO YOU MAKE NEW FRIENDS? WHAT CAN YOU DO OR SAY?
- BE YOURSELF, no matter what. Don’t be fake to get friends. You’ll either get the wrong kind of friends or you’ll have to fake it forever.
- You HAVE TO JOIN at least one thing before you move or right away when you get to your new house. It’s the fastest way to meet people who have something in common.
- Get a iob. It helps to meet people.
- Try to meet someone BEFORE the first day of school. You might be able to eat lunch together t e first day.
- You have to be nice to everyone. You never know who your friends will end up being.
- Sometimes the first kids to come up to you are the bad kids who want to get you in their group.
- Don’t get depressed if you don’t make friends right away.
- You will have to say “Hi” first. Ask directions. Sometimes people will walk you to where you’re going.
- If someone invites you to do something or go somewhere, do it even if you’re not very good at it or you don’t like to do it. It will lead to other things and you’ll probably meet more kids.
- Volunteer for something. Every school I’ve gone to is always looking for people to do stuff. You can meet people and have something to do in your spare time.
- I was going to stay behind for my senior year and live with my aunt. My parents would have let me. At the last minute, I decided I would rather be with my family. If I wouldn’t have moved and spent my senior year in a new school, I never would have made friends in our new town.
- Every school has good and bad kids. You have to kind of watch and listen and be careful when you pick your friends.
LET’S TALK ABOUT SCHOOL. DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR A TEEN WHO WILL BE CHANGING SCHOOLS?
- Try to visit the school at least once before your first day to check out what they wear.
- If you can get a tour of the school before the first day, it’s a good idea.
- Write and ask for one or more co ies of the school newspaper so you’ll feel that you now a little about the school.
- If sports teams or certain clubs mean a lot to you, check into it ahead of time before you decide which school to go to. One school may have a weaker team and you’ll have a better chance.
- Most schools have the some clubs but it’s good to know ahead.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE THE FIRST DAY?
- The first day was lousy. Now I like it. I discovered a lot of kids were like me.
- I had more difficulty with scheduling than with friends.
- l was very uncomfortable and lonely. It was not as bad as I expected.
- The kids were definitely more friendly in our new town.
- The first day was scary because of a new building and new people.
- On the first few days of school, if you don’t have anyplace to go between classes, go to the library. You can think there and it’s easy to look busy. Sometimes you even meet somebody.
- I just wore something kind of normal and it was fine.
AND LATER ON…
- Now I Feel comfortable, like l’m a part of the school.
- Don’t worry too much about school work. New schools usually seem harder than the old school.
- Alter awhile you’ll probably be okay. Even it you are a brain, it takes time to feel comfortable. It you think you are too for behind, ask for help or get a tutor until you catch up. Everybody goes through it.
- Sometimes you have to change schools if the first one doesn’t work out.
- I think this school is preparing me much better than my old one did tor college. It is tougher and there are more choices.
- I’m glad l go to this school. There are lots of nice people here. It iust took awhile to get my mind off my old school.
NOW THAT YOU ARE BASICALLY ADJUSTED, WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A TEENAGER WHO IS ABOUT TO MOVE?
- It’s good to have a change in your life.
- The packing and the unpacking are the worst part, but it is only temporary.
- You can’t rush the adiustment.
- Some of the kids I’ve met along the way have never moved. I think they’ve missed a lot. They think everyone in the world is like t>hem, that every city is like their city. They don’t have a broad view at life.
- People are basically the same no matter where you go. Some are nice, some are mean.
- I know it was easier for me to go all to college because I had moved and learned to adjust.
- Its okay to feel sad for awhile. I kept a journal and now when I read it, I can see that each week my writing was happier.
- I realize that my old town wasn’t so great. It’s better here in lots ol ways.
- Find out what you hove to do to get a driver’s license. My dad got me the book I had to study before we moved so I could take the test right away
- Plan when you tell your friends. If you tell too early, they might drop you.
- You can keep your best friends it you want to.
- Moving helps your lamily be closer because, at first, they’re all you have.l
- You can make the move better or worse depending on your attitude.
- You forget about some of the bad parts once you get adjusted.
- You’ll probably end up liking the new place.
- Moving gives you courage for other scary things you have to do in life. After three moves, it got easy. I think I could move anywhere and do fine.
DON’T ALWAYS TALK ABOUT YOUR OLD SCHOOL, OLD FRIENDS, OLD HOUSE. THE NEW KIDS GET SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT.
- It’s not the end of the world.