HOW DID YOU PREPARE BEFORE THE MOVE?
- Learned as much about the area as possible before visiting. Got information on communities from Chamber of Commerce, real estate companies and library (which included prices in the various areas, recreation available, etc.)
- Visited new city and used every possible minute to explore, so that I would know where I wanted to live. (The answer to this question was almost unanimous by those interviewed.)
- Bought a house!
- Checked out apartment complexes according to a list I had made which included the things I definitely had to have (i.e. affordable rent, two bedrooms, close to work) vs. the things I ‘Wished” for (i.e., weight room, pool, activity center) and made a deposit on a unit I felt comfortable with.
- Inquired into temporary housing until I could get to know the new area and then make a decision as to where I would live.
- Opened a new checking account while I visited so the checks would be ready when I got there.
- Set up utilities in my name and made deposits. Arranged for parking at work on a monthly basis. Looked into cost/availability of car insurance.
- Found out how/where to get new driver’s license and voter’s registration.
- Got maps of the new city/studied beforehand so I would be familiar with major streets, expressways, etc.
- Changed address at post office.
- Changed addresses on periodicals (takes six weeks to affect change).
- Sold a lot of things.
- Arranged for storage of some personal belongings. Wrote to credit card companies to change address.
- Had a check-up on my car so I wouldn’t have to go to an unknown mechanic.
- Arranged for a moving company.
- Contacted anyone I could (distant friends, relatives, friends of friends) to find a few contacts in the new city. Called them, introduced myself and asked questions. (“What is good about the city, what is bad?”) Everyone was happy to give advice and some even invited me to contact them when I got there. (This idea was recommended by many transferees as a way to learn about a new city quickly and to have a few familiar names to call in case a question or problem arose.)
- Went through my personal address and phone book to make sure it was up-to-date. It is much easier before moving than after.
- Signed release forms to have medical/dental records transferred to new doctors.
- Said goodbye to as many people as possible in person, gave them my new address and phone number.
WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU DID ONCE YOU ARRIVED IN THE NEW CITY?
- Drove around – tried to find the best way to work. Unpacked.
- Slept on the floor!
- Went sight seeing.
- Went straight to work.
- Cleaned my apartment/cleaned the house. Grocery shopped.
- Shopped for furnishings.
- Bought a newspaper and read it cover to cover. Asked people for the names of good restaurants. Looked for a barber shop.
- Applied for credit cards in local stores.
- Applied for a new driver’s license and voter’s registration. Walked around looking at stores.
- Got a phone installed and made a list of local emergency numbers.
ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR THE FIRST DAY/WEEK OF WORK?
- Don‘t try to impress everyone with how much you do or don’t know.
- Become friendly with the relocation coordinator. They usually have helpful advice/suggestions.
- LISTEN CAREFULLY.
- Consider everyone a potential friend.
- Don’t bring a lot of “stuff” with you.
- Don’t be afraid to tell people you are new.
- Keep something available for a headache.
- Be prepared to work long hours.
- Get enough rest and exercise to help with stress.
- Ask questions.
- Don’t gossip. Don’t take sides.
- Be willing to learn. Be patient with your teacher.
- Don‘t overdress but wear clothes that make you feel great.
- Don’t always talk about (or compare) your previous job or company.
- Set up your desk/office so at least you feel organized. Don’t make or receive personal phone calls. Be prepared to learn from everyone.
- Be polite and kind to everyone.
WHAT AR E THE BEST WAYS/FLA CES TO MEET NEW PEOPLE?
Health clubs are great. There are generally three kinds:
- 1. The places you go to work out/exercise just for the sake of ﬁtness ~ where you can sweat and not have to worry about how youlook.
- 2. The places where everyone dresses up to work out (attractive workout clothing. the right shoes, makeup, etc.) and the socializing is more important than exercising.
- 3. The club that is a combination of both.
Church / Synagogue
you have something in common to begin with
Local Tourist Attractions
Intramural Teams from work
it‘s easy to talk and people often go alone
either in the city adult ed programs or through local colleges/universities
of sororities or fraternities
helps in job too
Political’ Action Groups
they are ALWAYS happy to see you and you have some cause In common
often lead to mountain climbing, camping, etc.
at the pool, activity center
golf, tennis, art, etc.
people are at ease shopping, easy to talk to
Running at lunch time
IN ALL OF THESE AREAS, YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE. YOU HAVE TO GET OUT AND DO IT!
ANY SURPRISES IN THE NEW CITY?
- The way people drive!
- How much there was to do.
- People‘s attitudes and morals.
- The faster pace.
- The differences in moving companies.
- The cost of living – how it varies from city to city.
- All the small costs that add up (phone installation, utility deposits, parking fees, all the little things you need to get settled.)
- How much stuff I had accumulated since my last move. The mountains!
- Traffic in a large city.
- Diversity of people.
- How tiring it was to have to learn so many new things.
- How much stamina I had in dealing with all the new things, places and people.
- So few young people in my area.
- Sometimes big cities are friendlier than small towns. That you could rent furniture quite reasonably.
- That I got a promotion immediately.
- THAT I WAS TOTALLY HAPPY AND PROUD OF WHAT I HAD ACCOMPLISHED!
SOME PERSONAL ADVICE…
- Make “finding your way around” a top priority. (This hint was mentioned more than any other as a way to feel at home quickly )
- Give yourself time to adjust.
- It’s okay to feel lonely.
- You must take charge of your life.
- Many acquaintances…few friends.
- Good manners are accepted everywhere.
- Having my “stuff” around always makes me feel “at home.” People will not change to suit you. You must adapt to them.
- Try to share/compare your feelings with someone else. Sometimes when you open up, it gives another person the courage to do so.
- Keep in touch with friends and relatives. Be generous to yourself in your phone budget.
- It takes awhile to re-establish yourself as a capable person. it’s kind of nice to have a pet, if possible.
- It’s nice to leave all mistakes behind and start fresh.
SOME PRACTICAL ADVICE…
- YOU MUST VISIT THE NEW CITY BEFORE MOVING Accept help from friends when they offer.
- Organize a garage sale or clean out and give away as much as you can.
- Investigate the cost of living in the new city to make sure your salary will support you including utilities, taxes (sales tax, property tax, city, state income tax) auto, home and health insurance, parking, etc.
- Have some savings set aside for emergencies. Really study the different moving companies and what they offer.
- Realize how valuable it is to meet people no matter how long or short your stay. It is the only way you will be happy.
- Changes in time zones really do have an effect for awhile. Learn as much about the new city as possible before moving.
- Practice driving in a big city (if you never have before) at non-rush hour times, if possible.
- Take the time to investigate mortgage opportunities thoroughly. Rates are not the only things to consider.
- When you are investigating the area for a place to live, talk to people to try to evaluate whether you have values in common.
- Don’t drag out goodbyes”.
- Ask fellow employees how to save money on groceries, cleaning, car repair, etc. They will often recommend places you would take years to find.
- Discuss your future with the company. Is there an opportunity to grow in this job? After this move, what?
- Get involved!
- Line up a doctor and dentist in the new city while you are healthy. more ->
- Trust no one until you get to know them.
- The first place you live may not be ideal. You can always move.
- Try to get someone‘s help in getting settled. If possible, even agree to pay their way in exchange for help. You will have someone to explore with and to help unpack.
- Make sure all bills are paid. Sometimes during the forwarding of mail, past due bills become problems. Credit can even be damaged.
- Make your residence as homey as possible right away.
- Sunday night was the worst for feeling lonely. Make plans ahead. EXERCISE!
- Join an auto club, get maps, road service, sightseeing info.
- Try to move into a neighborhood where you will have peace of mind.
- Be there when movers pack and unpack.
- If you will be depending upon public transportation, take a few practice rides ahead of the first day of work.
- Whatever happens, try to remain calm.
- Move expensive or personal treasures yourself, if possible. Definitely try to move financial papers and records yourself.
- Just do it! If you don’t, you will always wonder what it would have been like.
- Make sure you are moving for the right reason. Try it. What’s the worst that could happen?
- Get involved! Be willing to meet new people.
IF YOU’RE A SINGLE PARENT…
- Be positive about your new environment. Children pick up parent’s anit’udes.
- Try to keep the family schedule as normal as possible. Stress often comes with change, but maintaining structure will help give your child the extra security needed in the new surrounding.
- Take your child with you when you call on new neighbors. This is a good way to meet new peers.
- Take your child to visit the school, meet the principal, secretary, counselor and teachers. There should be a familiar person for the child to seek out in case of a problem.
- Be willing to seek academic tutoring for your child immediately if the new school subjects are dramatically different. It is hard on the child’s morale to be behind the peer group. Additional encouragement and praise is needed.
- Ask school personnel and/or neighbors about the availability of car pools or public transportation for your child’s activities.
- Ask open-ended questions and then be available to listen to your child either after school, at mealtime or bedtime. Children need to be able to share what they are experiencing in the new environment.
- Sign your child up for one or two activities, sports, or lessons, so that new peer relationships can be fostered.
- Encourage your child to invite new acquaintances to your home when you are there. It will provide you with an opportunity to meet and observe new friends.
- Try to meet the parents of your child’s friends. You will get a better perspective and know if you want your child in that parent’s home.
- Allow your child a certain amount of “quiet time” with no commitments. Relocating takes a lot of energy and children need time to internalize the changes.
- Plan mini adventures in the new city to discover parks, ice cream shops, the library, theaters and whatever else your child may be interested in. A feeling of familiarity will bring confidence and eventually foster independence.
- Allow your child to buy some of the things common to the area such as a skate board, special bike or clothing items that may not have been “necessities” in your previous home, if possible.
- Encourage old friends to visit and let your child return to your previous home when invited. Children need to visit and talk to friends and relatives from the past to maintain their roots.
- “Buddy System” – try to find another single person as a “buddy” who can cover for you in an emergency (a neighbor, co-worker, or friend) as soon as possible. This service is usually exchanged without cost as long as neither party takes undue advantage of the other.
- Try to get to know the person well in a short time. What is their home/apartment like? Is it similar to yours in cleanliness, etc? Are your moral values similar? Is your style of parenting comparable? Are you and your child comfortable with the buddy‘s child/children? Would you trust the buddy’s judgment in an emergency?
- Daytime Child Care – check out licensing but especially check references. Talk to parents using the facility. Drop in unexpectedly more than once. Look at play areas inside and out, bathroom, rest areas, kitchen, etc.
- Local churches or synagogues are often good sources of child care. Many of them have centers on-site. They also often have weekly bulletins in which you can advertise for sitters. Parishioners often place ads looking for children to care for. Don‘t necessarily exclude denominations other than your own. Often the best situation for your child may exist right in your neighborhood and most of these centers are interdenominational in their child care programs.
- CHECK HOURS — TRY TO FIND A FACILITY THAT ALLOWS FOR THE OCCASIONAL TIMES YOU MIGHT HAVE TO GET TO WORK EARLY OR STAY LATE.
- Drop-in Child Care – many cities now have child care centers that are for occasional “drop-in” only. They are more expensive than full-time care, but they are wonderful for spur-of—the-moment care or late night occasions.
- Latch Key Program – some school systems provide extended hours both before and after school for child care within the school facility. Sometimes there is a charge for this service, but it is usually quite minimal.
- IN ANY TYPE OF ARRANGEMENT, BE SURE TO TAKE YOUR CHILD ALONG SO THAT YOU CAN SEE HOW THE CHILD REACTS TO THE STAFF AND ENVIRONMENT IN THE CARE FACILITY.
- ALLOW SOME TIME EACH WEEK FOR YOURSELF. IT’S A MUST!
- CONSIDER A CERTAIN TIME AS YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH YOURSELF. PLAN CHILD CARE IN ADVANCE on EXCHANGE WITH YOUR “BUDDY” ON A
- REGULAR BASIS. DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY. EXERCISE, SLEEP, SHOP, READ, WRITE LETTERS, ETC. DO WHATEVER GIVES YOU A SENSE OF WELL-BEING.
- THIS IS ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR ALL AROUND GOOD HEALTH!
WOULD YOU DO IT OVER AGAIN?
- 97% OF THOSE INTERVIEWED SAID, “YES!”
- Without hesitation!
- This has given me another life! The feeling of independence and conquering a new area is wonderful! It‘s like living a hidden fantasy. Really enjoyed the change.
- Love the travel.
- Great experience-new people, places. Every state is so different.
- Love the freedom.
- If stretches ones creative powers. Love the big city.
- I’ve seen a lot of the USA.
- It’s exciting!
- So many learning experiences. Always something new.
- Makes me feel so young.
- To succeed is great for my ego. Has really helped further my career. My job will always demand it.
- The “I can do it” attitude is strengthened and reinforced.